Radical Honesty
Good morning Planet Fames!
I hope you all have had just a WONDERFUL and AMAZING past couple weeks!
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY TODAY!!! CAN YOU BELIEVE IT! 35 years ago, on February 1st, 1984, my AWESOME mother and father graced the world with...ME!! :-) For better or for worse, the world certainly has never been the same! What an incredible ride it's been!
In honor of my birthday, I wanted to do a blog that was a little different today. As anyone who knows me knows, I am what I would call....unique individual. (Unicorn for those who REALLY know me! haha) Again, for better or for worse. HAHA! I try to live my life and interact with the world and the people in it, to the best of my ability, from a belief system that I call "radical honesty". Today, I thought I would talk a little bit about "radical honesty" and what that belief system is and what it means to me. Because it's my birthday, and what better way for me to celebrate it than to give the people I care about a little better understanding of who I am and how I try to live my life.
As most of you know, I am very much a person that prides themself on being consistent. The expression, "what you see is what you get." is used quite often when my friends try to describe me to others. Where a lot of people have a private/personal side, and a public/professional side, I simply have one side with many layers. Yes...you could even say I am like Shrek, "My name is James, and I am an onion!" HAHA! While I may not go very deep with people I don't know very well, hell most of the time I don't go very deep with people im very close with, I am or always try to be consistent. I'm not perfect, I'm human, so sometimes I fall into social norms. For the majority though, I really am what you see is what you get.
How do I do this? How do I maintain that consistency? That's where "radical honesty", comes into play. Before I delve into it, I want to preface that "radical honesty" as a belief system IS NOT FOR EVERYONE! As we get into the breakdown point by point, you will see why. This is intended to spark thought, but mostly to give insight into me. :-) OKAY, here we go!
What is "Radical Honesty"?
1. It's a belief system. It is not a religious or spiritual belief system, so please don't get them confused. For those of you who don't know, my religious/spiritual belief system is Christian. I'd be happy to discuss that with anyone that would like to, but I believe that is a more private conversation to have one on one. What I mean by "Radical Honesty" is a belief system, is that it is like an operating manual for dealing with and living your life. Yes, my religious/spiritual beliefs probably influence it, but it is not the same thing.
2. It requires authenticity. I see a lot of talk about people "living their best life", YOLO, you name it and people seem to be talking about it. What I don't see, is a lot of action usually. Just my opinion, and I could be wrong. To me, authenticity, living an authentic life, means first accepting yourself for who you are in this exact moment. It also means accepting others, AS THEY ARE, in this exact moment. It doesn't mean you/they can't change or grow, it simply means you know who you/they are now. Doing this, allows you to really be authentic.
3. Spoiler..."Radical Honesty"...requires HONESTY! HAHA! Radical honesty not only requires you to be honest, but...you guessed it! RADICALLY honest. That that means is, that you have to be completely honest in all interactions. Even if being honest makes you look bad, even if being honest will possibly hurt someone you care about. Now I am not saying you have to run out and tell every what you honestly think about them, their life, or something they did. Radical honesty isn't about being an asshole. It also doesn't mean you have to tell everyone, everything. What it does mean, is that the things you say, the things you choose to share, need to be completely honest. An oversimplified example would be the "do you like this outfit" question. Radical honesty means that you either don't answer, or you tell them the truth. You don't have to say "it makes you look horrible!!" or be mean about it. If you answer though, it has to be truthful.
4. It requires you to be honorable. Seems simple enough, right? Yet so many people, good and bad, seem to not really understand what it means to be honorable. In the simplest terms, being honorable means being a person of your word. The old expression, "my word is my bond" holds true in radical honesty. If you say you are going to do something, DO IT! If something comes up and you can't, apologize to the person and try to make amends. Don't make plans with someone and then ditch because "something better came along". If you do need to cancel plans, be honest with the person and tell them why. Finally, being honorable means, don't say something unless you mean it.
5. Radical honesty requires you to be humble. Yes. I James Sewell, consider myself to be a humble person. I know a lot of you are scratching your heads to this, I am know for having...a lot of self confidence sometimes. Some might even say I have a big ego. I prefer the term, healthy ego though. I do consider myself to be humble though, in the true sense of the word. Being humble, does not mean to make yourself less than you are. It means that you accept yourself, your abilities, your accomplishment, your struggles, and your shortcomings for what they are. Being humble simply means you try not to make yourself more than you really are. Some of you may have heard me say this, but one of my favorite quotes, by Socrates I believe, is "I know exactly how much I don't know." I am relatively intelligent..some days... but I make it a point to always remember I don't know everything. I know exactly how much I don't know, and let me tell you...it's a lot! HAHA Even in business, when I am consulting, I make it a point to tell my clients and "I am not an expert". I HATE that word, because to me it means you think you know everything about something...and I have yet to meet an actual expert in anything.
6. Radical honesty, as a belief system, requires the acceptance of the idea that happiness and joy in life are a decision that you make. It is a decision you make before you even get out of bed in the morning. You decide you are going to be a happy and joyful person, and you go into life's situations from that standpoint. Doesn't mean everything is going to be perfect, or even good! Doesn't mean you won't have bad days, days you get mad or cranky. What it does mean though, is that even when you have the worst day of your life, you will look at it from the perspective of being a happy and joyful person. It isn't always easy, but believe me...it's worth it!
7. It requires an unwavering, uncompromising, sense of right and wrong. For me, to be able to truly live my life from this belief system, it requires me to have an internal, permanent sense of right and wrong for myself. Now this isn't permission or a mandate to judge other people. Far from it actually, since I believe judging other people is wrong! HAHA! What is does mean, is that I know and understand what I believe to be right, and what I believe to be wrong. My right and wrong, aren't necessarily someone else's though. It also doesn't mean I am inflexible. If someone can challenge/educate me in a different way, I can learn! I do have an unfailing, internal sense though, of right and wrong.
Obviously, there is more to this, I can't sum up an entire belief system in 7 bullet points. These are just 7 of the "biggies". They are key concepts in my belief system called radical honesty. I hope you enjoyed them, learned a little bit about who I am, and gained perhaps a little insight into yourself.
I would be happy to discuss this, or really anything, with anyone. So just send me a private message on Facebook if you want to chat or have questions!
Until next time Famers, HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!!! hahaha
J
I hope you all have had just a WONDERFUL and AMAZING past couple weeks!
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY TODAY!!! CAN YOU BELIEVE IT! 35 years ago, on February 1st, 1984, my AWESOME mother and father graced the world with...ME!! :-) For better or for worse, the world certainly has never been the same! What an incredible ride it's been!
In honor of my birthday, I wanted to do a blog that was a little different today. As anyone who knows me knows, I am what I would call....unique individual. (Unicorn for those who REALLY know me! haha) Again, for better or for worse. HAHA! I try to live my life and interact with the world and the people in it, to the best of my ability, from a belief system that I call "radical honesty". Today, I thought I would talk a little bit about "radical honesty" and what that belief system is and what it means to me. Because it's my birthday, and what better way for me to celebrate it than to give the people I care about a little better understanding of who I am and how I try to live my life.
As most of you know, I am very much a person that prides themself on being consistent. The expression, "what you see is what you get." is used quite often when my friends try to describe me to others. Where a lot of people have a private/personal side, and a public/professional side, I simply have one side with many layers. Yes...you could even say I am like Shrek, "My name is James, and I am an onion!" HAHA! While I may not go very deep with people I don't know very well, hell most of the time I don't go very deep with people im very close with, I am or always try to be consistent. I'm not perfect, I'm human, so sometimes I fall into social norms. For the majority though, I really am what you see is what you get.
How do I do this? How do I maintain that consistency? That's where "radical honesty", comes into play. Before I delve into it, I want to preface that "radical honesty" as a belief system IS NOT FOR EVERYONE! As we get into the breakdown point by point, you will see why. This is intended to spark thought, but mostly to give insight into me. :-) OKAY, here we go!
What is "Radical Honesty"?
1. It's a belief system. It is not a religious or spiritual belief system, so please don't get them confused. For those of you who don't know, my religious/spiritual belief system is Christian. I'd be happy to discuss that with anyone that would like to, but I believe that is a more private conversation to have one on one. What I mean by "Radical Honesty" is a belief system, is that it is like an operating manual for dealing with and living your life. Yes, my religious/spiritual beliefs probably influence it, but it is not the same thing.
2. It requires authenticity. I see a lot of talk about people "living their best life", YOLO, you name it and people seem to be talking about it. What I don't see, is a lot of action usually. Just my opinion, and I could be wrong. To me, authenticity, living an authentic life, means first accepting yourself for who you are in this exact moment. It also means accepting others, AS THEY ARE, in this exact moment. It doesn't mean you/they can't change or grow, it simply means you know who you/they are now. Doing this, allows you to really be authentic.
3. Spoiler..."Radical Honesty"...requires HONESTY! HAHA! Radical honesty not only requires you to be honest, but...you guessed it! RADICALLY honest. That that means is, that you have to be completely honest in all interactions. Even if being honest makes you look bad, even if being honest will possibly hurt someone you care about. Now I am not saying you have to run out and tell every what you honestly think about them, their life, or something they did. Radical honesty isn't about being an asshole. It also doesn't mean you have to tell everyone, everything. What it does mean, is that the things you say, the things you choose to share, need to be completely honest. An oversimplified example would be the "do you like this outfit" question. Radical honesty means that you either don't answer, or you tell them the truth. You don't have to say "it makes you look horrible!!" or be mean about it. If you answer though, it has to be truthful.
4. It requires you to be honorable. Seems simple enough, right? Yet so many people, good and bad, seem to not really understand what it means to be honorable. In the simplest terms, being honorable means being a person of your word. The old expression, "my word is my bond" holds true in radical honesty. If you say you are going to do something, DO IT! If something comes up and you can't, apologize to the person and try to make amends. Don't make plans with someone and then ditch because "something better came along". If you do need to cancel plans, be honest with the person and tell them why. Finally, being honorable means, don't say something unless you mean it.
5. Radical honesty requires you to be humble. Yes. I James Sewell, consider myself to be a humble person. I know a lot of you are scratching your heads to this, I am know for having...a lot of self confidence sometimes. Some might even say I have a big ego. I prefer the term, healthy ego though. I do consider myself to be humble though, in the true sense of the word. Being humble, does not mean to make yourself less than you are. It means that you accept yourself, your abilities, your accomplishment, your struggles, and your shortcomings for what they are. Being humble simply means you try not to make yourself more than you really are. Some of you may have heard me say this, but one of my favorite quotes, by Socrates I believe, is "I know exactly how much I don't know." I am relatively intelligent..some days... but I make it a point to always remember I don't know everything. I know exactly how much I don't know, and let me tell you...it's a lot! HAHA Even in business, when I am consulting, I make it a point to tell my clients and "I am not an expert". I HATE that word, because to me it means you think you know everything about something...and I have yet to meet an actual expert in anything.
6. Radical honesty, as a belief system, requires the acceptance of the idea that happiness and joy in life are a decision that you make. It is a decision you make before you even get out of bed in the morning. You decide you are going to be a happy and joyful person, and you go into life's situations from that standpoint. Doesn't mean everything is going to be perfect, or even good! Doesn't mean you won't have bad days, days you get mad or cranky. What it does mean though, is that even when you have the worst day of your life, you will look at it from the perspective of being a happy and joyful person. It isn't always easy, but believe me...it's worth it!
7. It requires an unwavering, uncompromising, sense of right and wrong. For me, to be able to truly live my life from this belief system, it requires me to have an internal, permanent sense of right and wrong for myself. Now this isn't permission or a mandate to judge other people. Far from it actually, since I believe judging other people is wrong! HAHA! What is does mean, is that I know and understand what I believe to be right, and what I believe to be wrong. My right and wrong, aren't necessarily someone else's though. It also doesn't mean I am inflexible. If someone can challenge/educate me in a different way, I can learn! I do have an unfailing, internal sense though, of right and wrong.
Obviously, there is more to this, I can't sum up an entire belief system in 7 bullet points. These are just 7 of the "biggies". They are key concepts in my belief system called radical honesty. I hope you enjoyed them, learned a little bit about who I am, and gained perhaps a little insight into yourself.
I would be happy to discuss this, or really anything, with anyone. So just send me a private message on Facebook if you want to chat or have questions!
Until next time Famers, HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!!! hahaha
J
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