Go rest my friend
Greeting Planet Famers!
First, the elephant in the room. I know I said I was going to do this weekly...but life happens! I went out of town last week, back to Nebraska, and while I was there I just didn't have the time at first. Then I hurt my back to the point I was basically stuck in bed on Wednesday, and in the house all day Thursday! Not how I wanted to spend my trip...I went to see mom and dad because they were finally both feeling great and not in the hospital! Figures...I end up hurting myself. I guess that's kind of been the trend to far in 2018. Here's to the last 4 months being hospital and injury free!! The good news is, I am back to feeling 100% physically.
I was going to write my blog on Friday, and then on Saturday, and then on Sunday, however I've been in an interesting headspace and I just didn't know what I wanted to say. On top of the health issues with mom and dad, and then me hurting my back, there has been a lot of emotional struggle this year for me. While everyone that knows me, knows I am "too happy" and optimistic (actually been told that from a mental health practitioner! Happy to share that story for those interested), this year has been a challenge for me to find the balance and maintain my happy/joy.
Between the family and personal health issues, the resurgence of my body image issues with a vengeance, and some serious stress with work (which I am not used to...) It's been a tough year so far. Now please don't get the wrong impression, I have had some ABSOLUTELY amazing things happen! From mom and dads recovery, to exponential work and career growth, to meeting some truly amazing and wonderful people! It really has been a year of extremes so far, and I know how truly blessed God has made my life! What I am saying though, is that there have been a lot of extreme highs and lows this year, and I know it has taken a toll. That's probably next weeks blog though.
As most of you know, I work in behavioral health specifically substance abuse treatment. I LOVE what I do! I love that I get to help people change their lives. It is the most rewarding and fulfilling career I can imagine. It is also filled with heartache, rage, sadness, and loss. There have been several experiences with these negatives this year, as there always are, but this year hurts more than most. Pr at least more than they have in a while. I could go on and on about the different factors, like societies continued "moral failing" view, the lack or quality and qualified resources, and now the insurance industries BLATANT attacks on providers and fair compensation, but that's a separate blog. This blog is about something else.
This past Friday, I found out that a friend of mine who I met while he was in treatment, overdosed on heroin. From what I understand, his organs are failing and he has little to no brain activity. A month after getting engaged to the woman who stood by his side, for better of for worse, through his struggles. A woman who just recently found out she was pregnant with his child. He lost his battle with his demon disease, and now the conversation isn't about his future life, his pending wedding, or his soon to be father status. Instead, the conversation is about "pulling the plug", getting his affairs in order, and funeral arrangements.
To say my heart is broken, is an understatement. For my friend, for his fiance, for his parents, for his friends, and for the world that loses such a bright and wonderful light. I lack the words to truly describe the feelings, thoughts and emotions.
As I am often the one people go to for counsel and advice, this situation is no exception. The difference this time, is I find myself among those suffering. It has been hard to find the words and be the support that I know some of my friends are looking for. What do you say? When your mutual friend reaches out asking "what do I do?", "How do I go on?", how do you go on? How do any of us go on?
The best I can offer is this: We do not "go on". To go on, to me implies moving past, or getting over. To even attempt to do that, is in my mind, to attempt to let go. My Faith, my God, my belief, is that my friend will always be with me, and he will always be with all those whose lives he touched. I, and we, are forever changed because we knew him. Because he shared his light, his love, and his struggles with us. We are forever changed!
Instead I say to you, rather than "go on", I say we go through. I/we must go through our pain, our loss, our grief, our sorrow, and we must share in the joy and heartache of remembering our friend. We must do this together, by being there for each other, with each other when possible, crying together, raging together, laughing together, and supporting one another. By remembering our friend, and the wonderful light he brought and shared with us all. That is how we will get through this, together.
I truly believe, no matter what your religion-faith-spirituality-or if you don't believe in anything at all, that we never really lose someone we loved. They are always and forever with us, as a part of us. They live in our memories, they live on in the impact they made in our lives, and the live on eternally by our sharing of those memories.
I love you my friend, and I am honored that you shared even a small part of your life with me! (Yes I am purposely omitting their name out of respect.)
P.S.
If any of you reading this, are going through a loss or a struggle, please know that I am always here should you need a shoulder to cry on, and ear to listen, or just someone to sit with you (in person or even over the phone). We are NEVER alone, unless we chose to me, and you should never chose to go through something alone!
I love you all!
Fames
First, the elephant in the room. I know I said I was going to do this weekly...but life happens! I went out of town last week, back to Nebraska, and while I was there I just didn't have the time at first. Then I hurt my back to the point I was basically stuck in bed on Wednesday, and in the house all day Thursday! Not how I wanted to spend my trip...I went to see mom and dad because they were finally both feeling great and not in the hospital! Figures...I end up hurting myself. I guess that's kind of been the trend to far in 2018. Here's to the last 4 months being hospital and injury free!! The good news is, I am back to feeling 100% physically.
I was going to write my blog on Friday, and then on Saturday, and then on Sunday, however I've been in an interesting headspace and I just didn't know what I wanted to say. On top of the health issues with mom and dad, and then me hurting my back, there has been a lot of emotional struggle this year for me. While everyone that knows me, knows I am "too happy" and optimistic (actually been told that from a mental health practitioner! Happy to share that story for those interested), this year has been a challenge for me to find the balance and maintain my happy/joy.
Between the family and personal health issues, the resurgence of my body image issues with a vengeance, and some serious stress with work (which I am not used to...) It's been a tough year so far. Now please don't get the wrong impression, I have had some ABSOLUTELY amazing things happen! From mom and dads recovery, to exponential work and career growth, to meeting some truly amazing and wonderful people! It really has been a year of extremes so far, and I know how truly blessed God has made my life! What I am saying though, is that there have been a lot of extreme highs and lows this year, and I know it has taken a toll. That's probably next weeks blog though.
As most of you know, I work in behavioral health specifically substance abuse treatment. I LOVE what I do! I love that I get to help people change their lives. It is the most rewarding and fulfilling career I can imagine. It is also filled with heartache, rage, sadness, and loss. There have been several experiences with these negatives this year, as there always are, but this year hurts more than most. Pr at least more than they have in a while. I could go on and on about the different factors, like societies continued "moral failing" view, the lack or quality and qualified resources, and now the insurance industries BLATANT attacks on providers and fair compensation, but that's a separate blog. This blog is about something else.
This past Friday, I found out that a friend of mine who I met while he was in treatment, overdosed on heroin. From what I understand, his organs are failing and he has little to no brain activity. A month after getting engaged to the woman who stood by his side, for better of for worse, through his struggles. A woman who just recently found out she was pregnant with his child. He lost his battle with his demon disease, and now the conversation isn't about his future life, his pending wedding, or his soon to be father status. Instead, the conversation is about "pulling the plug", getting his affairs in order, and funeral arrangements.
To say my heart is broken, is an understatement. For my friend, for his fiance, for his parents, for his friends, and for the world that loses such a bright and wonderful light. I lack the words to truly describe the feelings, thoughts and emotions.
As I am often the one people go to for counsel and advice, this situation is no exception. The difference this time, is I find myself among those suffering. It has been hard to find the words and be the support that I know some of my friends are looking for. What do you say? When your mutual friend reaches out asking "what do I do?", "How do I go on?", how do you go on? How do any of us go on?
The best I can offer is this: We do not "go on". To go on, to me implies moving past, or getting over. To even attempt to do that, is in my mind, to attempt to let go. My Faith, my God, my belief, is that my friend will always be with me, and he will always be with all those whose lives he touched. I, and we, are forever changed because we knew him. Because he shared his light, his love, and his struggles with us. We are forever changed!
Instead I say to you, rather than "go on", I say we go through. I/we must go through our pain, our loss, our grief, our sorrow, and we must share in the joy and heartache of remembering our friend. We must do this together, by being there for each other, with each other when possible, crying together, raging together, laughing together, and supporting one another. By remembering our friend, and the wonderful light he brought and shared with us all. That is how we will get through this, together.
I truly believe, no matter what your religion-faith-spirituality-or if you don't believe in anything at all, that we never really lose someone we loved. They are always and forever with us, as a part of us. They live in our memories, they live on in the impact they made in our lives, and the live on eternally by our sharing of those memories.
I love you my friend, and I am honored that you shared even a small part of your life with me! (Yes I am purposely omitting their name out of respect.)
P.S.
If any of you reading this, are going through a loss or a struggle, please know that I am always here should you need a shoulder to cry on, and ear to listen, or just someone to sit with you (in person or even over the phone). We are NEVER alone, unless we chose to me, and you should never chose to go through something alone!
I love you all!
Fames
Comments